Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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