I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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