And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
