Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Who died my cat blue again?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
