Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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