p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
