first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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