Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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