so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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