Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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