god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
