u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
