I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
