gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
