addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
