Did you just see the Batmobile???
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I will pee on everything he values.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
