Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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