im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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