are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
