Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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