i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
