At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
