I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
