If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
