Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize