Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
