He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Randomize
