mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
