a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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