watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
