Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
