i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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