I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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