Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just cropdusted the office
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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