tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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