every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
