She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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