your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You took a bar mat shot.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
