What a fucking waste of an outfit
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
