hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
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If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
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Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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