idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
