so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
