Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
