I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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