If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
