My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
