my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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