Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
