You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
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I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
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Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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