Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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