420 ftw
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
