That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
