I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
