How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
