Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
