READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
