it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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