I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
