There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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