yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
