and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Terrible idea I love it
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
