yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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