The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
