they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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