she woke up with a sticky ear
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
